Lost Hope
by JenCollins1
Summary: There is only one hope left and it's Harry but will it work?


Harry stopped before the closed door at the mental ward in St. Mungos.

He have received a simple letter this morning and he just couldn't let it pass, he knew that he needed to do something.

The letter was short, from Narcissa Malfoy, pleading for help with her son.

_Harry, _

_I am apologizing for writing to you in this early hour but it just couldn't wait any longer, it already have been way too long._

_The case is about Draco._

_He was broken by the war, as most of us, but he have changed a lot._

_He refuse to eat or get any help, he don't let anyone close._

_All because he is sinking into blame, blame that isn't real._

_He still think that you are dead, that you were really killed by Voldemort that night and no matter of what we do or say, he just don't listen._

_I wouldn't write, if this wasn't getting out of hand._

_He is torturing himself, trying to give himself a slow and painful death as punishment._

_Everything is out of control, no healer can get a hold of him anymore, he refuse to do literally anything and it break my heart to see him fade away before my eyes._

_So I am begging for your help, I know that you don't own anything to us, you already made sure that we are not sent to Azkaban, but please, you are my only hope to bring my son back._

_Narcissa M._

Harry have rushed straight to St. Mungos, he just knew that he need to at least try.

Because who he was fooling, he was still in love with the blond and oh so broken boy even when it never come to surface.

Harry took a couple deep breaths pushing the door open and walking further into, noticing Narcissa right away, sitting in one of the puffy chairs, looking pale and exhausted.

\- Narcissa. - Harry breath out, stopping infront of the woman.

\- Harry, you came! - She trew her arms around Harry.

\- Of course. I will do my best to help. - Harry hugged her back before letting go and stepping closer to the locked door with a small glass to peek inside.

What he saw was more like a ghost than human and even more like skeleton.

Harry suck in a sharp breath, squeezing Narcissa's hand in his.

\- Can you let me inside, please? - Harry couldn't take his eyes off of the boy.

\- Harry, before you go… You should know a bit more, whenever someone mention you in any way, he freak out, he get panic attacks and usually end up hurting himself in any way that he find possible. I know that it sound sadistic to still send you right there but he just need to be snapped out of it before it's way too late. - Narcissa choke back a sob before looking away.

\- Okay, I understand. - Harry nood, waiting for the healer to unlock the door and let him inside.

Draco didn't even move by the sound of the door opening and closing, the lock locking.

He was just sitting in the middle of the room and looking out the window to the stars.

He was dressed all in plain wait that made his skin look more like grey than pearl white.

When Harry slowly stepped closer he noticed just how actually skinny Draco have got in these couple months.

Every bone was sticking sharply sticking out, warning to tear the skin.

His hair was a big mess, sticking to all the possible directions.

\- Draco… - Harry breath, stopping couple feeth away from Draco.

Draco turned his body around, his eyes going wide, his bluish lips parting in silent scream, tears starting to pool in his fade out eyes.

\- You came… - Draco crooked out, his voice horse.

\- Of course. - Harry slowly lowerded himself to sit down in front of Draco, never losing eye contact.

\- Then take me. - Draco pushed his chin a bit higher in so familiar way that remind Harry all the school times.

\- What? - Harry burrow his brows, not really understanding what Draco meant.

\- Take me. I am ready. I'm already half dead. Just take me. - Draco spread his arms as in an invitation.

\- What? Draco, I am not a ghost. I am not here to kill you. I am Harry and I am alive. -

\- No, no, no, no, no! - Draco was shaking his head so hard that Harry was afraid that his neck will snap in half.

\- Draco, it is me and you know it. It is me! I survived the war! - Harry kept pushing.

\- No, no, no, Voldemort killed you, I saw your dead body. I saw you getting killed through my mother's memories. I saw it! I saw it! You are dead! And it is my fault, my fault that they killed you… - Draco gripped his own hair with his fists so hard that sharp bones pushed out even more, tears starting to slid down his cheeks.

\- Yes, Voldemort sent the curse at me but I didn't die. He killed his part of soul that he have been set inside me. I was fully okay. I am here, Draco, I am here. - Harry edged closer.

Draco was starting to shake, mumbling broken no's over and over again.

\- Draco. - Harry stopped right in front of the shaking boy, ready to grip him.

Draco just shake his head, lovering his hands to his arms and digging his nails into the flesh left with suck a force that he could tear the skin apart.

\- Draco! Look at me! Draco! - Harry said sharply, taking a hold of Draco's shoulder.

Draco let out a choked scream that was breaking Harry's heart.

Harry gripped his shoulder a bit tighter, afraid that he will break the sharp bones underneath.

Draco was slipping further and further into panic attack, tears streaming down his face, his eyes tightly shut and fingers digging holes into his arms.

Harry pulled Draco forward, pushing himself up on his knees and doing the only thing he could think of, pressing his lips hardly against Draco's and making all the sound that was escaping Draco die down.

He pushed harder, his hot lips pushing against icy cold ones in plain hope, trying to pour himself into the broken boy's soul.

It felt like several minutes passed before Harry felt just as icy cold hands slid over his cheeks.

\- Harry… - Draco breath out, breaking away of Harry and opening his eyes, something shierring into the dead oceans.

\- Yes, I am here. I am alive. See. - Harry cupped one of Draco's hands and pushed it under his shirt, pushing it against his chest right where his heart was beating strongly.

Draco stared where his hand have disappeared, his lips part a bit before he let another choked sob out, starting to shake his head.

\- No, I saw… I saw him dead… - Draco tried to pull his hand back but Harry hold it in place.

\- Draco. - Harry let a low growl escape his lips, making Draco head snap up and look at him again.

\- I love you, Draco. I love you. - Harry breath out almost pleading for who knows what. - I love you, I have loved you for so damn long so fuck it, fuck this. Snap the hell out of it because right now you aren't just killing yourself in such a stupid way! You are killing your mother! You are killing me! So snap the fuck out of it for fucks sake! -

Harry knew that he shouldn't let the anger bubble up so much but he just couldn't help it, he just needed to scream it all out.

Draco stared at him, not moving at all, simply staring at him.

\- Fuck! Please, I love you too damn much to let you go now. Don't make me lose you too… - Harry's voice broke with a tear sliding down his cheek.

Draco eyes follow the tear till it hit his arm before looking back up at Harry.

Without any warning Harry was thrown back, hitting the ground, knocking the breath out of his lungs and before he could suck in another there were almost non existing weight thrown on top of him and these icy cold lips pressed against his into something deeper than plain kiss, pushing and pushing almost like in starvation.

Harry let out a small gasp before pushing his free hand up and over Draco's skinny form.

Icy hand slid into his hair, gripping them and trying to pull Harry even closer.

Harry knew that this probably was wrong but it just felt right.

It felt like an answered prayer in the day of doomed.

So he just kissed the boy on top of him, trying to give him everything he had, feeding him with it all.

When it already felt like they will pass out of not getting enough air Draco broke the kiss, pulling back a bit and looking over Harry's face with his eyes shining, slowly letting his fingertips skip over every part, every scar.

Just as fast as it have started Draco pulled back more, sliding down a bit more and resting his head against Harry's chest where their hands still were resting against his beating heart.

Harry let Draco pull back their hands to place his cheek fimly against the hard chest and listening to every beat, slowly closing his eyes.

Harry wrapped his arms around Draco almost in protective maniere, holding him close and making sure that Draco felt safe.

When after only just couple minutes Harry felt Draco fallen asleep he finally let himself relax a bit and close his own eyes.

When Harry opened them again the sun was shining bright over them, warming their bodies.

Harry looked down to see Draco already awake.

\- Hey… - Harry breath out, softly pushing one hand through Draco's hair.

Draco slowly pushed hinself upward, looking deep into Harry's eyes.

\- Show me. Show me how it all did happen. What actually happened. - Draco let out with a little note of hope into his voice.

\- Okay. If you promise to eat something first. - Harry let his hand rest against Draco's sharp cheekbone.

Draco leaned down and pecked his lips before really slowly pushing himself off of Harry and resting against the bed, not taking his eyes off of Harry.

\- Okay, but you do need to start eating. I can't let you starve yourself to death, Draco. - Harry sigh.

\- How can I know that you are not lying just to fix me? Just to give my mother the rest? - Draco sounded so tired, the shine already disappearing from his eyes.

\- Would I really do all this for just that? Would I really fake it all? C'moon, you know me. I couldn't fake it. - Harry inched himself closer to Draco.

\- I can't allow myself to hope. Not when I have already got so far. You hear, I can't. I am already too damn broken to be broken even more by your hope. - Draco pulled his knees close to his chest, hugging them.

\- Draco, you can heal. You just need to want the help for us to be able to help you heal. Please. Please let me love you. - Harry stayed there, pleading with his eyes.

\- I can't. I don't deserve it. - Draco was fighting back tears now. - I don't deserve any of it. I must die. Slow and painful. That's what I deserve. They should have dumped me into Azkaban. -

\- No! For fucks sake, Draco. No! - Harry gripped his face in his hands. - Wake the fuck up! You deserve so much more, you deserve love and kindness, you deserve to live. -

Draco let the tears spill over, wetting Harry's hands.

\- I can't. I'm sorry. - Draco choked out, closing his eyes, fully giving up.

\- No, no, no! - Harry gripped him only tighter, now shaking him by his shoulders before pulling him close against his chest, feeling only ice against his burning skin.

\- Wake up! Wake up! - Harry was sobbing. - Please… -

A scream break free from his somewhere deep in his chest, making everyone's blood turn cold, muffling the breaking of a mother's heart.


End file.
